Sunday, May 3, 2009

Prom's da Bomb...

I attended Prom last night...as a chaperone, that is. I came to one conclusion during the night: I'm old. I'm very, very old.

First of all, the dresses were almost not considered dresses, more like half bathing suit and half evening gown. I was glad to see that sequins were back in, especially since my senior prom dress was a purple, sequined gown. However, mine did not have cut outs all over it, exposing my hip bone, belly button, or back. And the cleavage...my goodness, there was enough cleavage there to satisfy Hugh Hefner. I just imagined the girls trying on their dresses, walking out of the dressing room, and their moms saying, "Oh, now that's adorable!"

Second of all, there were a handful of ball caps at the prom. Yes, baseball caps. I will say, the guys at least chose caps that matched their dates' dresses. But what's kind of sad is the fact that the cap was a thought-out accesory; it was part of their attire.

Thirdly, I didn't recognize any of the songs the DJ played. I suppose "Ring Around the Rosey" and "One Two, Buckle My Shoe" has far removed me of any modern dance hits. The students knew them all and hollered (or holla'd) whenever the songs came on. Towards the end of the night, the DJ did play "Thriller", "Ice, Ice Baby" and "Fresh Prince of Bel Air", but I am sure this was a tactic to get the kids to start clearing out of the room.

Next, the dancing. I really can't call it that. It was more like vertical sex, vertical sex that sometimes existed in a train of students, backed up to each other. I really can't talk much about the "dancing" without becoming disturbed.

I suppose the days of the "Macarena" and the "Electric Slide" are over. I suppose the days of classy dresses and groomed guys are over.

However, there was one saving grace of the night. A boy asked his girlfriend to marry him while they were getting their pictures taken. She went around showing everyone her engagement ring. When a teacher asked the boy what his mother said, he replied, "Oh, she's happy. She says we can sleep together now."

(Did I mention the girl is preggers?)

Yes, I am old. I'm very, very old....

2 comments:

  1. wow. perhaps I left the industry just in time. I suddenly want to wrap my daughter in a shawl and teach her knitting.

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  2. AMEN!! I can't believe how times have changed since we were in high school. You not being able to talk about the dancing made me laugh because that is exactly how I felt when I went to prom as an old woman! I too wonder where the Mom was when the cleavage came out of the dressing room. Hummm.

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