And the Oscar for Best Actress Goes to....

...Rylee Sargent for her performance in the bathtub. **gasps, applause**

Rylee is a tough, little girl. She loves to tackle, to give wet willies, and to throw punches that sting, but she cannot handle a little boo boo. I'm not talking about a deep gash or a slice to the leg; I'm talking about a small scratch, a mark, a mere lifting of a millimeter of skin.

Her recent diva moment involved a tiny red line across her knee that apparently stung when it hit water; however, she had been in the bath for 10 minutes before she realized it was there, and in turn, realized it was stinging.

"Mamaaaa!!! It hurts!!!!"
"Okay, let's get out of the tub."
"But I caaaann't waallk."

She tries to fling her leg over the side of the tub without putting any pressure on it. As she stands there like a flamingo, I get her as dry as possible so that I can carry her into the living room. The entire time she is whimpering and whining about the pain as if her leg may detach at any moment.

I lift her up, strenuously, I might add, because she is so limp due to the "pain" of this life-altering wound.

Heaving, I take her into the living room, turn on the tv, and let her recuperate from her emotional and scarring experience in the tub.

Sweating, I crash on the couch and reflect on the last 5 minutes. I feel inclined to stand and give her an enthusiastic ovation because I know she gave it her all. She delivered her performance and got what she wanted...out of the tub in time to see Dora.

Well done, little girl. Please don't forget to thank the Academy.